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I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
2


No, I'm not a smartass. I'm a skilled, trained, professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm!
2


I liked unicorns before it was cool.
1


When I feel sad, I just go to my happy place. The fridge.
1


No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't knock common sense into stupid people.
1




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