sayings.net

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

No, I'm not a smartass. I'm a skilled, trained, professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm!

I liked unicorns before it was cool.

When I feel sad, I just go to my happy place. The fridge.

No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't knock common sense into stupid people.