I must have an amazing butt, every time I walk away from someone, I hear them whisper, 'What an ass!'

Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

I hope your day is as nice as your butt!

Love is like a flower. If you don't take care, it will die!

Will you love me for the rest of my life? No I'll love you for the rest of mine.

On the eight day God created chocolate.

Anyone else reached that age where you gain weight if you breathe?

May God grant you many years to live, for sure he must be knowing, the earth has angels all too few and heaven is overflowing.

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.

Only toilet paper deals with more assholes than I do on a regular basis.

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