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Unicorns are real. The mermaids told me.
2


Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.
5


Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss you'll land among the stars.
4


I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
2


Unicorn mermaid princess it doesn't matter. I'm special.
2


People are so ungrateful ... No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
2


Tonight I'm drinking until I'm someone else's problem.
2


Not to get technical ... but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
1





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