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I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
1


Math is a drama queen. It can't seriously have that many problems.
1


I make beer disappear. What's your superpower?
2


The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with.
3


I haven't had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.
1


My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not the one who married me.
3


Love is like a piece of gold, hard to find and hard to hold!
24


Monday?! But I wasn't even finished with Saturday yet.
1





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