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I don't have haters. I only have fans in denial.
1


I have tits. Give me free stuff! I have a penis. Blame me for everything!
7


My phone is always on silent. I don't even know if I have a ringtone. If someone needs to contact me in an emergency I suggest you call someone else.
2


My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.
1


Ugh ... January! The whole month is just a giant freakin' Monday!
1


All you need is love ... And Wi-Fi!
2


All I want for christmas is snow.
2


Others have sex in the kitchen. I eat in bed.
5





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