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I wish cake went straight to my boobs.
4


We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
2


I turned my whole life around. I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
21


Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
2


Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.
5


Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
17


The day I stop loving you is the day I close my eyes forever.
18


Life is better with grandma.
2





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