Others have sex in the kitchen. I eat in bed.
I wish exercising was as easy as eating!
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
Diet rule: If nobody sees you eating it. It doesn't contain any calories.
A moment on the lips. Forever on the hips.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in fridge?
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
My unicorn ate my homework.
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Life is short! Eat dessert first!
On the eight day God created chocolate.
Never argue with idiots. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Here's to our wives and girlfriends - may they never meet!
Yesterday I really wanted pizza. Today I am eating pizza. Follow your dreams!
Love me, or let it be, but don't play with me!
Alcohol! Because no good story ever started with someone eating a salad.
Sayings