Fat sayings

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

I'm not fat. I'm just easy to see.

Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with chocolate.

I try to avoid things that make me fat. Like scales, mirrors and photographs.

I wish I was as thin as I actually was, back when I thought I was fat!

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

Dear Santa, this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks.