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The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah only let animals on the boat.


The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with.


People who talk shit will be reincarnated as toilet paper.


I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs. But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.


To all those people who have gossiped and bitched about me. Thank you so much for making me the center of your little world.


Is it just me or do idiots multiply quicker than normal people?


Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person.


Some people just need a high five, in their face, with a chair, made of steel, twice, from HULK!


Reality is something for people who have fears of unicorns!


So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?


I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.


I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face but with words.


Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life where they realize they're stupid?


Some people are so full of shit. They should have flushing handles instead of ears.


People push you to the limits, but when you finally explode, you are the crazy one!


Everyone has the right to be stupid ... It's just that some people abuse the privilege.


Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.


I don't like Monday mornings or people who like Monday mornings. Or Mondays. Or mornings. Or people.


No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't knock common sense into stupid people.


I wish people were like money. So you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake!


People say you only fall in love once, but when I hear your voice I fall in love all over again.


May all who enter as guests leave as friends!


The best things in life aren't things!


Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you.


May your neighbors respect you.
Troubles neglect you.
The angels protect you.
And Heaven accept you.


You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.


May the wind at your back always be your own.


Bless you and yours as well as the courtage you live in. May the roof overhead be well thatched and those inside be well matched.


Catch the moments as they fly
and use them as ye ought man -
believe me happiness is shy
and comes not aye when sought man.


Bitchcraft: The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.


Proposal

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

1     Sayings


My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.


People are so ungrateful ... No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.


Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door.


As you slide down the banisters of life - may the splinters never point the wrong way.


The internet is a lot like Ancient Egypt. People write on walls and worship cats.


Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.


Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the grocery store.


People change, things go wrong, shit happens, life goes on.


If life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples eyes!


Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.


Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.


If people are talking behind your back ... Just fart!


I'm not short. I'm just more down to earth than other people.


Drunk people, children and leggins always tell the truth.


I don't know how people can fake whole relationships. I can't even fake a hello to someone I don't like.


This Christmas I'm putting mistletoe in my back pocket so all the people who annoy me can kiss my ass!


Fuck is easy, fuck is funny,
many people fuck for money.
If you think that fuck is funny,
fuck yourself and safe your money!






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