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Real eyes realize real lies.


Unicorns are real. The mermaids told me.


Being a unicorn isn't about being real. It's about being real awesome.


I wish people were like money. So you could hold them up to the light to see which ones are real and which ones are fake!


Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.


Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.


The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah only let animals on the boat.


Don't underestimate me. I know more than I say, think more than I speak and notice more than you realize.


Monday? Again? Is this really necessary?


They say, "revenge is sweet." They also say, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I've come to realize revenge is probably ice cream ...


Reality is something for people who have fears of unicorns!


Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.


Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life where they realize they're stupid?


I'm not lazy. I just really enjoy doing nothing.


I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy ... and my face hits the mirror.


Yesterday I really wanted pizza. Today I am eating pizza. Follow your dreams!


Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized, even the trash goes out more than me.


I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!


I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.




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