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Who told the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon?
1


Every family has one weird relative. If you don't know who it is, then it's probably you.
1


The only difference between a good girl and a bad girl is, that good girls are very selective who they're bad with.
1


I don't know how people can fake whole relationships. I can't even fake a hello to someone I don't like.
1


Anyone who thinks Fools' Day comes just once a year, doesn't work where I work.
1


This Christmas I'm putting mistletoe in my back pocket so all the people who annoy me can kiss my ass!
1


If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on.
1


Who let me adult? I can't adult!
0




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