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I'm a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you again.


I make beer disappear. What's your superpower?


Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.


Not my circus. Not my monkeys.


I turned my whole life around. I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.


May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. Know nothing but happiness from this day forward!


The best things in life aren't things!


I can be social! Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.




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