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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


I have a penis. Blame me for everything!


I may not be your first love, first kiss, first sight, or first date but I just want to be your last everything.


I have tits. Give me free stuff! I have a penis. Blame me for everything!


I don't need Google. My wife knows everything.


Funny how everything goes your way when you stop giving a fuck.


Is everything expensive or am I just poor?






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