Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
I would lose weight ... But, I hate losing.
I'm not fat. I'm just easy to see.
Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with chocolate.
I try to avoid things that make me fat. Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.